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Pirateopedia: Willie Gates VII

by
May 26, 2010
Not-So-Jolly Roger, Spineless Fiction
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Born: 2069

Family: The youngest son of Will Gates VI and Ursula Gates. One brother, Steve, that mysteriously disappeared during a camping trip with his younger brother. Married to Fiona Gates (nee Good and former wife of Not-So-Jolly Roger)

Early life: Willie grew up in Boston and was more or less raised into the MegaSmooth corporation. By then, the Gates had become what could best be described as “software royalty”. He attended The Soda-Cola Kindergarten for Bubbly Kids where he became a lifelong foe of a wee little lad called Roger Bonny.

However, Will and Ursula were concerned about their son’s lacking social competence and thought that the popular Roger might be the solution to their problems. They contacted Roger’s parents and offered Roger a full grant to MegaSmooth University and a top position within the company, if he took little Willie under his wing and helped him with friends in school and later on at college. Neither Willie nor Roger wanted to hear anything about it, but their parents agreed that it was a good solution and thus they were stuck with each other anyway.

The arrangement worked fairly well, until Willie and Roger were forced to share a dorm room at college. Willie still accuses Roger of throwing him out of the room on numerous occasions when Roger “helped a female student with her studies” and Roger accuses Willie of disturbing him by actually helping female students with their studies. In short, they were a match mad in hell from the very beginning.

Career: After college, both Willie and Roger ended up at MegaSmooth’s main office, were they had offices next to each other. Willie had a major crush on the Soda-Cola vending machine girl, Fiona, but she never even looked at him and went off to marry Roger instead.

Willie vowed to break up the marriage and new exactly how to do it, by gaining full control of the company and kicking Roger out on the street. Classy women like Fiona wanted classy successful men like himself, not bums like Roger. He was, of course, right, and four months after Roger was kicked out, he married Fiona, with whom he shares a perverse interest in making Roger’s life suck as much as possible.

Oh, right! When taking over the company, he kind of ended up ruling the world as well. But more importantly, he made Roger look like a looser.

Misc: Willie uses “Superstud3000” as his password. It’s a very misleading password. Willie is by no means a stud. He’s not very smart either, since he has used the same password for everything ever since his college days when he shared a room with Roger.

Anna Troberg

Anna Troberg är verksamhetschef för Wikimedia Sverige och författare, men bland de karaktärsdanande ungdomssynderna kan hon räkna några år som bokförlagschef och ett förflutet som partiledare för Piratpartiet. Hennes humoristiska roman "Chefer från helvetet" är publicerad i Sverige, Norge och Finland. Hennes motto är: "Life is pain. Get used to it ... or make it better!" Åsikterna på bloggen är hennes egna.

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