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Pirateopedia: No Man's Land

by
May 27, 2010
Not-So-Jolly Roger, Spineless Fiction
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History: In 2069 feminism was deemed unconstitutional, since it violated the notion that “all men are created equal” by advocating a political stance that was based on the notion that “all men are created equally bad”. This led to the closing of numerous departments of women- and gender studies and hordes of homeless feminists roamed the streets. Some of the more hardcore ones, found real life outside of their women- and gender studies departments so hard, that they didn’t only settle for a room of their own, but opted for a country of their own. Money was raised and a cluster of islands in The Pacific where bought. Thus, the kingdom of No Man’s Land was born.

The inhabitants of the new country lived happily ever aft… Well, after two weeks the new country was ravage by civil war between different fractions of feminism. It didn’t take long until No Man’s land was turned into a confederation of separate feminist states.

Today, No Man’s Land’s most notable island states are:

Anarcha funland – For fun loving anarcha feminists that never say no to a good political rally.

Riot Grrrrrandmothers
– For the elderly feminists that haven’t forgotten the good old days in the Riot Grrrrl movement.

Ecofem – For ecological feminists who get a kick out of recycling and demonstrating against plastic waste in the oceans along the coast of Petland.

P P Island – Short for Post-Post Island. This is the by far biggest island in the confederation No Man’s Land, as this is where all who adhere to any kind of post whatever feminism gather.

Transatlantis – No Man’s Land’s haven for “honourary (wo)men”, i.e. men that used to be women. The island has been the object of quite a lot of controversy. Some claim that a woman with a penis is still a woman, whereas others say that anything with a penis, man-made or not, is a man and does not belong in No Man’s Land. But since the inhabitants of Transatlantis have proved to be a much loved addition to the entertainment industry of No Man’s Land, no one dares to suggest that the island should be excluded from the confederation.

Government and politics: No Man’s Land is run by a parliament consisting of representatives from each of the separate states. Instead of voting they practice a complicated automatic system of government that scan the parliament members’ speeches and measure pitch, volume and frequency of certain keywords like “Simone De Beauvoir”, “post”, “patriarchy” etc to determine who is right. The highest overall value of pitch, volume and keywords win.

And political theory… Don’t even go there…

Geography: The topography of No Man’s Land is varied and range from billowing plains, high peaks, marshy, dense crevasses.

Culture: No Man’s Land has the biggest concentration of singer/songwriters in the world.

Sport: No Man’s Land is very successful in shot put, wrestling and sledgehammer and has won all medals in these sports in the Free World Olympics ever since the federation was founded in 2069.

Religion: The women of No Man’s Land are very spiritual, but reject all notions of a heavenly father and don’t accept the idea that there should ever have existed even a bare minimum of three “wise men” at all and certainly not at the same time. Instead they worship the mother goddess of the Earth.

Misc: Since No Man’s Land’s was founded, the confederation’s states have only managed to agree fully on one thing. In 2089 a general cease fire was issued under the unifying parole: “No, Sir. I can’t boogie.”

Anna Troberg

Anna Troberg är verksamhetschef för Wikimedia Sverige och författare, men bland de karaktärsdanande ungdomssynderna kan hon räkna några år som bokförlagschef och ett förflutet som partiledare för Piratpartiet. Hennes humoristiska roman "Chefer från helvetet" är publicerad i Sverige, Norge och Finland. Hennes motto är: "Life is pain. Get used to it ... or make it better!" Åsikterna på bloggen är hennes egna.

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