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Pirateopedia: Petland

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May 27, 2010
Not-So-Jolly Roger, Spineless Fiction
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History: Petland was founded in 2089 by Billy-Bob Nelson of Kentucky, who then became HRH King Billy-Bob I of Petland. The initial island was roughly the size of a football field, and was built on an estimated 5 789 326 PET bottles contained in four massive nets. Today, Petland has expanded considerably and has a harbour, a helicopter pad, a royal palace, guest huts and many other conveniences.

Government and politics: King Billy-Bob rules and his will is law.

Petland’s international relations with No Man’s Land are bad. In fact, they suck. Not only is Petland under constant attack from the Ecofem that dislike his use of Pet bottles, his ex-wiife Conzuela (Rico Fantastico) is the ruler of Transatlatis. She won the election with the slogan “I won’t rest until Petland sinks (and Billy-Bob with it)!” and won with a staggering 97.6 percent of the Transatlantis’ votes.

Geography: From having been a bare little island, Petland has not only grown in size, but has also developed a rich and beautiful tropical flora and fauna, long stretches of white sandy beaches and tall palm trees.

Culture: Hula dancing and coconut bras are culture, right?

Sport: Sport? Well, it requires quite a lot of muscle to carry a drink in your hand all day.

Religion: Nah… Unless leisure can be considered a religion.

Misc: Not-So-Jolly Roger was just a normal grumpy Roger until he met Billy-Bob on one of Petland’s beaches. Since then, everyone calls him Not-So-Jolly Roger.

Anna Troberg

Anna Troberg är verksamhetschef för Wikimedia Sverige och författare, men bland de karaktärsdanande ungdomssynderna kan hon räkna några år som bokförlagschef och ett förflutet som partiledare för Piratpartiet. Hennes humoristiska roman "Chefer från helvetet" är publicerad i Sverige, Norge och Finland. Hennes motto är: "Life is pain. Get used to it ... or make it better!" Åsikterna på bloggen är hennes egna.

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